Home » Stopping breastfeeding - how do you do it and when is it the right time?

Stopping breastfeeding - how do you do it and when is it the right time?

Mother looks at the sleeping baby and wonders if she should stop breastfeeding

Facts and advice on stopping breastfeeding. Direct from paediatricians. Some different strategies may be needed to stop breastfeeding a small baby and a larger child. It's time to stop breastfeeding when the mother and baby want to. Long or short-term, full-time or part time is up to you.

It's time to stop breastfeeding when mother and baby want to

Sometimes you need to take medicine that you must not breastfeed with. A mother with an infectious HIV infection must also not breastfeed. In very rare cases, the baby cannot tolerate the mother's milk, so she must also stop breastfeeding.

But for the vast majority of mother-child relationships, this is the truth: breastfeeding should end when mother or baby do not want to continue anymore. For some, this happens in the first week, for others the fifth year of life, for many at some point during the first or second year of life. Babies are different, mothers are different. And each mother-child relationship is unique. The length of breastfeeding time that is suitable for a mother with her first child need not fit at all with others.

If only the baby wants to stop breastfeeding but mother wants to continue

This sometimes happens early in life, during the first weeks of life. It is often when infants fail to get enough milk from the breast that they prefer the bottle. This may be because the mother does not have enough milk, or the baby is not so good at sucking.

If you, as a mother, want to continue breastfeeding, I think you should consider whether there is any situation that your child still likes breastfeeding. For starter? For dessert? That night? To comfort and cuddle? Then continue to breastfeed in that situation for now. If you get a nice lactation cooperation then, it may happen that the baby then wants to breastfeed more and more. Or not.

Try not to fight too much against the baby's will, it rarely works. Without trying to connect. Sometimes breastfeeding can be great for babies who find the breast difficult. A feeding set can also help. There is a thin plastic hose taped to the nipple. At the other end sits a baby bottle of milk that goes into the plastic tube and feeds the baby while sucking at the breast. Contact a breastfeeding help mother or breastfeeding clinic for help with the feeding kit. Breastfeeding pacifiers are available at pharmacies.

If mother wants to stop breastfeeding but not the baby 

This situation is very common with larger babies. Mother wants to stop at night, or stop breastfeeding completely. The baby or the little child wants to continue. I usually have one year of age as some kind of mental boundary here. Until the age of one year, I think it is good if you can let your baby control the mother as much as possible. Over the age of one, I think the mother has to decide much more about how much she wants to breastfeed. And set breastfeeding limits. At home but not out, in the evenings but not on days, or whatever you want.

The one-year-old rule, of course, is not carved in stone. On the contrary, rather plucked out of the air. But most one-year-olds usually eat so much that they can grow without breast milk or replacement.

Step down!

For the first ten days after childbirth, the breasts are for some reason protected from milk congestion. Therefore, if you stop breastfeeding the first week of life, you do not need to be so careful about slowing down breastfeeding slowly, although it may feel nice that the breasts are not so full.

After that time, you risk your milk if you stop suddenly. Stepping down is preferred. Remember that the more often the baby empties the breasts, the more milk is formed. So reducing breastfeeding will reduce the milk with a few days delay. A tight bra is a good tool. If you get a red and tender lump in your chest, let the baby suck on that chest. At the same time, stroke from the lump to the nipple as to help the milk out of the breast. No hard massage!

To stop the night feeds

Many newborn babies can only fall asleep with the chest in their mouth. Good thing. But when they have done it every night for seven or nine months, many mothers tend to feel their heads will burst and want to get some time for themselves. At that age, the child is nutritionally sound without food at night. Sleep often gets much better when you stop at nighttime and through the night.

Quitting night-feeds for children who like it is often a struggle. Maybe the first big fight in the family. If it is so in your family, decide if it is worth it. Discuss with the other parent if there is such a thing that you think feels best. Some prefer the other parent to stay in another room. Other mothers want to continue at night but with tight sweaters and bra and without offering the breast. Often there will be a few nights with lots of protest before the child has learned that the breast is no longer offered at night.

But the other parent then, shouldn't they have a say about breastfeeding?

If the other parent sees that the mother is suffering from breastfeeding, I think they have an obligation to take it up with the mother and hear with her how she is feeling and what she really wants. Otherwise, breastfeeding is a shared body experience between the breastfeeding mother and the baby. Therefore, I think they should decide if breastfeeding is something they want to do, for how long and under what conditions.

To start with other foods

Att börja med annan mat än bröstmjölk är något annat än att sluta amma. Läs gärna mer om det i inlägget: Smakportioner – om att börja med annan mat än mammamjölk eller ersättning. För att barnet ska kunna tillgodose sina näringsbehov, först av järn, men sedan även av andra näringsämnen, behöver man börja med annan mat kring 6-månadersdagen.

To breastfeed and work

To feed and work I know many people have done without major problems. There are many doctors who pumped in the on-call room during night calls because we spent all other nights nursing our fairly large babies or children at home. Breasts adapt to how to breastfeed.

To breastfeed and work is legally right in Sweden, with breastfeeding breaks from work. But in my eyes, it is a lot to demand from a partner that during their parental leave they will have to revolve around just my job with a baby in case the baby gets hungry. But the parents agree on that, of course. Go for it.

Read more here:

73 thoughts on “Sluta amma – hur gör man och när är det dags?”

  1. Great post! Have just stopped breastfeeding my son who is now 7 months. The downturn has been excellent and he had to decide for himself when he wanted to quit completely. Now it has been a few days since I completely quit and even though for the first time in months I have been able to sleep whole nights, I feel completely exhausted. Almost abnormally tired, nauseous and almost depressed. It almost feels like during the first weeks of pregnancy (I'm NOT pregnant now). Could it be due to some hormone adjustment that occurs at the end of breastfeeding? Have tried to read if there is something written about it but not found.

  2. I wonder about this natural protection against milk blockage for the first 10 days. I have two children with 5.5 years between them. With the first child I had 3 mastitis seizures for the first 14 days. Breastfeeding nurse said there was no fault with how I breastfed and the son had a good time.

    With other children I prepare by reading 1177 and the breastfeeding help. The first mastitis attack came on day 6 and the second came on day 11.

    In all these cases, I have felt tense in the chest or in the body for about 30 minutes before I get high fever, chills, headaches and back pain. Large parts of the breast are red and the pain cannot be explained. Then milk congestion stays for weeks even if fever goes away after a day.

    In my case, there is no such protection. I have had to take a lot of antibiotics and

  3. Thanks for a great post! My daughter got her first tooth at 11 months and started biting during breastfeeding, sometimes I thought it would start bleeding. Therefore, I'm losing the will to breastfeed, but she wants to continue. Is it common for them to bite and pull when breastfeeding? Seems to be many who continue to breastfeed despite teeth.

  4. Hey!

    I'm about to stop breastfeeding and I'm just at the end. Have felt a little hormonal, depressed and bad skin. Is it a coincidence? Or can you tell what happens in the mother's body when it stops producing milk? Thanks!!!! / E

  5. Thank you very much for the post! I needed to have it confirmed that it's ok to keep breastfeeding. My son is soon 8 months and I often get asked when I will quit. He refuses food right now even though crying has gone well sometimes. Thanks again!

  6. Hi.
    I'm about to step down breastfeeding with my son who is 9 months old. During the days he eats regular food and at night I breastfeed.
    But my problem lies in the breasts being overflowing with milk during the day and I do not want to offer the breast then. But if I empty by hand, do I stimulate my chest to continue producing more? Should I wait for the evening and have pain in the day? Or if I just wait it out, how many days does it take before the breast gets used to it? Many questions.

  7. Hello
    Our daughter is now 7 months and I will start working in 1.5 months so must stop breastfeeding during the days. I'm a little stressed about it, she does not take bottle or beverage mug! She just bites it and "talks" to it. What should we do?

  8. Thanks for this post and all comments!
    I breastfed my son until he was 15 months old (he is now 4.5 years). I loved to breastfeed and he was very breastfed. I had no specific date when I was going to quit but it just became that after the last time he didn't seem interested anymore and I never had to pump out my breasts after that either so it went just as well naturally.

    But now we also have a girl who turns 1 in the middle of December and she wakes up several times every night and wants to breastfeed. We sleep together and she does not fall asleep without her feed. She has trouble falling asleep even during the day without the breast. However, it works out well if someone else can sleep with her. My dilemma is that (unfortunately) I will soon start working ( I like to work, but think my daughter is too small to start in preschool) and I want nothing more than to sleep at night. So I really want to stop breastfeeding at night but I'm just too exhausted to be able to take the fight for several nights. Plus I don't really want to deny her the security that breastfeeding still gives her. I wouldn't have felt as stressed at all if I didn't start work soon. Been at home with our son for over two years. He has never liked preschool, so he has been with us all the time since our daughter was born. Now they will start at the same time and I am of course nervous about how things are going. All this stresses me out so much that I have had severe tension headaches, sleep problems and strained jaws.

    I have also heard comments that I am breastfeeding for too long. And even more (accusatory) comments that the son has not gone to kindergarten, but is home with me. But I only do what feels best for my children.

    1. See this post is really old but got so involved, happy and touched and have to say THANK YOU for sharing this, I recognize me SO MUCH !!! My daughter (4 years now) has not been happy at preschool and I breastfeed the youngest who is over 2 years and also just want to do what I think is best for my children, why should everything be so difficult !?

  9. Just wanted to thank you for a really good post and a very good blog. I am very grateful for the posts about spots, fever and infections. It has been a security to have reliable information when the concerns have crept in. Really appreciate reading when you punch holes in myths and old "truths".
    It is actually quite amazing that you have managed to write a post about breastfeeding that everyone (breastfeeding, bottle feeders, long-term breastfeeding etc) feels strengthened by! Thanks for everything!

  10. Our daughter just wants to breastfeed. She is 11 months. She does not want replacements or anything, we have tried all different brands and bought different baby bottles.
    Want to stop breastfeeding, but feel we / I have been stuck, mostly because the energy and strength are not there. She wakes me up 2-4 times a night.
    Need clear advice and tips, thanks!

  11. When my now two-year-old son was exactly nine months, we stopped breastfeeding either he or I was really set for it to end then but it just became so. In the end, I just became sleep-deprived and when we moved him so he slept in his own bed, breastfeeding went down from twice a night to only once a night most nights. One night when he woke up he couldn't feed because he was just too stuffy in his nose and when he got nasal drops (there were Nezeril for small babies then) and they started to work so he was so tired so he fell asleep. The night after, he slept all night for the first time and so there was no breastfeeding then. Only a week later he realized what had happened and was very upset at night. We had tried formula earlier when we were to overcome the extreme evening gathering (he "hung" in my chest largely all evening) but he refused formula so he ate porridge instead. We tried formula that night when he woke up but it did not work so my wife went up and did porridge which he ate but we realized then that it would not work to go up and porridge at night. It was a couple / three hard nights before he realized that there was nothing to eat at night. He obviously did not stop waking up at night, but he did not require food. So in hindsight, we are glad that he refused formula because then it automatically became that he stopped eating at night. However, he ate porridge before bed and breakfast until he was just over the year when he no longer wanted it. Probably we will skip feeding to our baby when he turns up at that age as well but that assumes he gets something else instead, we try to take it a bit as it will when we realized it is the easiest when it comes to children .
    I had a rather difficult breastfeeding period in general, which was partly because he wanted to eat so often, during the day it was very rarely more than 1½ hours between breastfeeding occasions. In addition, I had a birth depression that no one discovered at the time, nearly a year later when everything turned that way throughout the day and I realized how extremely bad I had been feeling. I have said before that if our now two month old would struggle or that if I thought breastfeeding was as hard as with the two year old then we would supplement with replacement formula. It is easier said than done but so far it is only some days that have felt very hard but I still feel that I will probably have a hard time giving up breastfeeding even though I would think it was more difficult than cozy. Not for any external pressure but probably for something, partly subconscious, in myself.
    I also had a lot of breast milk when breastfeeding at two and it was very often I woke up in big puddles at night. This time I only needed to pump a little over the first week after the breast milk ran out (and got just over a liter that is now in the freezer) then it got better. I do not know if it may have to do with the birth of our first child and I was then given tablets to stop milk production and the body then the next time a child tried to compensate for it so the breast milk would not run out or if it was just so anyway .
    I basically fed the two-year-old for six months, gave some purees from the age of four months. When he was six months he started eating quite a lot and at seven months I breastfed him basically three times a day. Once in the afternoon and twice in the night. The one in the afternoon was probably the hardest to stop with because the son wanted to continue with but I thought it was difficult because he always wanted to be breastfed either when we were at home or away. If he was happy to do it when we were at home, I would have been able to continue for a while, but he did not agree.
    When our two-year-old was newborn, we were reliant on the Neonatal and there was a temporary-doctor who talked to a doctor who was a long-standing breastfeeding expert and she had said that pumping for the first time did not affect breastfeeding but that you would then try to cut down the pumping so that not get higher milk production than was necessary. I went on this one this time and it worked as I said. I have let go of laborious milk jams without having to pump but this is safe from person to person as well. Last time, as I said, it was completely different. This time I also felt much better and that may also have some effect.

  12. Hey!
    It was wonderful to read this, yesterday I stopped breastfeeding, my son who is 1 year and 2 weeks the last few weeks has been constantly waking up to just sit a little and then fall asleep, I have hardly slept anything and decided to quit. When he woke up the first time he cried for 1 hour, I went out of the bedroom and left him with my partner, then he fell asleep 10 minutes after I left. That was probably the best thing because he didn't smell the milk scent. He has woken up sad from time to time but it has only been 5 min max since he has fallen asleep, however I have been lying with a broken heart down on the sofa but I have to do this for everyone's sake. I sincerely hope he sleeps better after this to wake up every hour has been a struggle and in 1 month I start working 75% and he starts preschool. When it comes to all the comments from people who don't know better, I've heard a lot, you should breastfeed until he is age 7!?! It's disgusting! I have then answered that I breastfeed as long as I want and when I am ready I quit! Then they usually frown, but what do they know? They have no idea of my situation and every mother-child couple is different, so stand by you if you want to breastfeed for a long time!

  13. Hey! Thanks for reading. My son has stepped down breastfeeding lately. He is seven and a half months now and has been eating porridge / food for quite a while. Loves the food! Also loved to breastfeed. This past week he bit me! - and then laughed at the times he was breastfeeding .... It made me scared. Now he only breastfed (very briefly) once yesterday and once today without being bitten, but I am on full alert. Sometimes it's what he wants to test if he still "gets" his chest. However, he does not seem to want to eat but just keep close ... Sometimes he seems frustrated: wants and does not want! I feel less stressed because I was not prepared to stop breastfeeding now… but it seems time for that. We both are probably feeling that! I gave him a baby bottle tonight because he was crying tonight and buffed his head against his chest but still didn't want to feed. He seemed to enjoy it, mostly to watch / play with. It is my first and maybe only child so I feel sad in some way ……… Yesterday I cried because this time was over…

  14. Breastfeeding breaks from the job I think also sounds completely crazy, but not for the parental leave partner but for the mother who has to work and then on her breaks has to be available and breastfeeding and therefore has double jobs. The father gets paid for taking care of the child. My husband wanted half of parental leave and of course it sounded good in theory, but since we both thought that the children would be breastfeeding until at least 9 months of age, which both mother and child thought felt good, this did not work together as well very parental leave. I would never breastfeed and work while the children's dad would go "free" to work and get their own much needed breaks while I was a parent. I will never be in favor of legislating equal sums of parental leave. In that case, they may increase the number of days significantly and I think that will never happen.

  15. Imagine so many different ways to breastfeed! Myself, I would like to breastfeed my two-year-old son now that he has a baby sister. He stopped breastfeeding a year ago but shows interest now that he has a sibling who is breastfeeding. The reason I let go is completely that everyone around would react (negatively). He would have liked to breastfeed for 3-4 years for me. Of course, I'm angry at myself for letting go but I can't now change it.

  16. I nursed my first son until he was 7 months, the second son only 3 months. The reason: I was advised to breastfeed. Had lots of milk and the kids grew so it worked but I just laughed and felt completely out of my body. After each lactation, I sat helplessly, staring. The times I "cheated" and gave them a bottle of formula so I wouldn't stand out, I felt satisfied and happy and could enjoy watching them eat. Otherwise, I just wanted it to end quickly. It has not been a problem with my children, everything else has been good (both of them basically lived with me in my shawl for the first six months) except when it was time to feed. A very wise BVC doctor, the BVC nurse and a psychotherapist at the health center supported me in my decision to stop breastfeeding my second son. Retained nighttime feeds for a few weeks to descend naturally and eventually stopped completely. What a liberation !! The menses started again, the exhausting breast hormones disappeared and my body and my psyche were in balance again. Breastfeeding for me was like a multi-month long mega-pms. In retrospect, I wish I had stopped earlier even with son # 1.

    With that I want to say: long term: sure if you like it. Breastfeeding over the age limit : sure if YOU as a mother likes it. If you think breastfeeding is a plague: stop breastfeeding. The bottle feeding will only bring you and the child even closer together as you now do not have to get hurt during the feeding and instead can convey a feeling of ..satisfaction during the feeding hours.

    Hug to all struggling baby moms and to you for a nuanced, wise and cozy blog!

    1. Thank you for sharing. I am also so sad to breastfeed most of the times. She is doing well, she is gaining weight. But she started to moan at the end and one nipple hurt. I get frustrated and almost angry, at her, for not doing so. Add then to the fact that even before I did not love breastfeeding, but as I said I became sad. What I want to say is thank you that I got to read about someone else in a sad situation where it resolved!

    2. So nice to hear about your resort! I also got completely sick especially during the first months when I had my second daughter, and is like I dare not hope for any more children if there is no solution in case I feel so bad again. Do not know if it was due to breastfeeding or something else, then thought it was due to too little sleep. However, I am a little afraid of the idea of more children because of the feeling I had at the beginning, what it was due to.

  17. In a way, I think, it is strange to go so high in what you get and do not get. What is strange and what is not. My daughter is 2 years and 7 months and loves to lie on the boob when she falls asleep in the evening. On the whole, I am her cuddle blanket & pacifier, her cuddle and safety ... I notice that, and I am just infinitely happy that it is still a "our moment" that she and I have. This is the moment when our love for each other gets free flow and I have absolutely no thought of taking it away from us. There comes a time when this will end ... right now I enjoy to the fullest, she included.
    Give our children what feels good and never forget how important it really is. You see it in them <3

  18. With the first child (born -10), I took the initiative to stop breastfeeding at night when she was around six months. She took a pacifier and was happy with it. I noticed that she didn't eat that much anyway. I then phased out the day breastfeeding so she would eat more food (the BVC doctor was very stern to try more real food during the days and it went slow), but I wanted to keep the night and morning nutrition because it was cozy and practical . But the baby didn't want that! She was grazing and feeding and was uninterested, so at 11 months I breastfed for the last time.

    Now we have got a little baby sister and I feel a little safer as a parent. In addition, the advice seems to have changed and instead of being able to show a baby who eats two meals of food on the 6-month day, this is when you start to phase in food. Practical, I think. Then we may not need to rush to a breastfeeding end this time.

    My children have been different in their eating behaviors, but none of them have been breastfeeding for reasons other than hunger. I thought the youngest would like to "cuddle" because she doesn't want pacifier, but she doesn't.

    Have a question: How does the milk change at 3-4 months? Notice that she eats less often now. Or do they suck larger quantities every time?

  19. Always as good posts here, I also think "professional"! But a little thought to the pediatrician regarding night-eating / feeding and falling asleep with food / at the breast. My guideline is that after about 6 months healthy children should not have to eat at night - for the sake of teeth and to have the appetite during the day, and because both children and parents need to sleep at night. And to fall asleep at the chest or fall asleep with a bottle of teeth when you have teeth - I usually talk to parents about getting the toothbrush as routine after the evening meal. What are your thoughts on this?

    1. There is no safe science behind nighttime feeds damaging teeth. If the parents are happy with the sleep, the child develops and grows as it should, I usually just check that the child started eating other food after 6 months and that the food is nutritious food. And then I'm not concerned.

      But if I see a family that is pale with fatigue, a mother who needs support in finding her own needs or a child who loses weight or does not eat during the day, then I definitely have a chat with the family about the whole food and sleep situation and suggest - sometimes - to try to step down on the nighttime feeds.

      At night, I am more inclined to recommend reducing and phasing out at least after 9-12 months. It can be so huge and interfere with growth hormone secretion. And to change night feeds to formula after 6 months I do not recommend.

    2. That night feeds1 would interfere with the secretion of growth hormone I have never heard. How much do you have to eat at night to be a problem?

    3. Don't remember this exactly, just that I learned it from a pediatric endocrinologist and growth specialist.

    4. Strangely, my dad is a paediatrician (medicine, focus on diabetes) and he said babies need food at night. He said babies need food at night to grow when they sleep. He said this when I complained that the son still ate several times a night at 9-10 months.

    5. I was saddened when my Bvc nurse told me I would stop at night. For me, it was a way to get some good sleep, as the son almost slept in his sleep. He gained weight as he would, we all enjoyed it and slept well. I read on, and found no evidence that his teeth would be damaged or that it would be better for him to eat only during the day. So I followed my gut feeling instead. A few months later, the nighttime is almost gone without a fight. There are many different ways to live with children, I will be glad to read a post that highlights this!

    6. Hi BVC acid!
      Breastfeeding myth 1) Breastfeeding causes caries:
      I asked my dentist who thought nighttime feeds did not cause caries. Rather, substances in breast milk appear to strengthen tooth enamel by remineralization. Have self-tampered two children for about two years each, both have perfect dental health and it is done in many places in the world without the teeth falling out, would be quite counter productively arranged by nature otherwise I think.

      However, formula must be treated like any other food and teeth are brushed after meals if you want to be completely safe. See Sagogrynets blog for link collection.

      Breastfeeding myth 2) The individual myth that caused the most panic in the parent group at BVC was precisely that myth that one would "teach the child off at all costs" to fall asleep at the breasts. Two children later I just wonder why on the whole vacation then? It is an unbeatable fast and easy way to calm and sleep with a tired child, no evidence exists that it would be harmful in any way or that it would exclude other ways of sleeping. What is the reason for this advice still being given to young inexperienced parents?

      Breastfeeding Myth 3) “If you breastfeed at night, the child stops eating everything else.” My experience with own children and nursing children in the area is exactly the opposite. Free breastfeeding, including nighttime breastfeeding and no unnecessary sugar in the beginning, prevents constipation and generally facilitates the transition to regular food. Is it not that you confused the effects of too much milk with breast milk on this issue? What is your experience? I myself have a two-year-old who is still breastfeeding at night and eats most of the food, including sushi, though not particularly fond of formula (which is one of the reasons I still breastfeed.)

      Breastfeeding Myth4) After 6 months "does not the child need to eat at night"? Extremely curious about what you base this claim on? Why exactly at 6 months suggested the date when according to WHO to introduce solid food, which may take a while with some children. The moms you advise to quit at night, do you inform them of the risk that their milk production will decrease and breastfeeding may be more difficult to maintain then too? In the case of stomach flu and other diseases, night-time is very good to have as a "base" to fall back on, I have noticed and nice to have something the child does not need to be forced. The child who is breastfeeding has generally managed the infections best is my experience and even healthy children, as you know, sometimes get sick sometimes. Night feeding over preschool or traveling has been purely positive from both a sickness perspective and "safety thought" is my experience.

      Breastfeeding Myth 5) "... because both children and parents need to sleep at night." Absolutely agrees with you that it is quite nice to have children who sleep well at night. We have chosen free night feeding and co-sleeping in the first years just to avoid getting up unnecessarily at night be able to breastfeed / night if easy at waking up at night and above all to avoid waking up and arranging bedtime in the morning when the child tends to sleep equally long / able to stay overnight until we go up. Another aspect of nighttime feeds is that they can be used as an alternative instead of carrying around or rocking a tired baby, something many evil mum backs are thankful for.

      If the mother wants to breastfeed freely, why "as a rule" discourage her? What is it that says that the child sleeps better on an empty stomach at the age of 6 months? To me it sounds like a remnant left over from the '70s breastfeeding every 4 hours "so I'm honestly curious if there is information still being taught to BVC staff? What is this based on?

    7. Go Go! What a great post! Yes many seem to lump breastfeeding and formula feeding for some reason…. Really many good points!

    8. Right on target!!! Thanks. It is precisely these questions and answers that I wish I could contradict our BVC nurse with when she said at 6 months that he should now sleep himself!

    9. Soooo damn well written !! And hello Doctor Cecilia who always has such wise thoughts !! My son is soon to be 2 years old, and we sleep and breastfeed. Both of us sleep, and have always slept, very good! Breastfeeding after six months seems to have become a bit taboo, strange considering how many we are as "long-term"!

    10. Wow. Awesome well written. Thanks! This is so amazingly easy to read. Breastfeeding secretly because I was so sorry for such sick comments already when my youngest daughter was 6 months. She has now turned two and is going crazy when she can't breastfeed. Every step down has been a long struggle and I now breastfeed morning and evening although she wants more often & often wants to feel and squeeze my tits. She's totally crazy. I do not want to quit completely until she is ready, stopped for a few days this Christmas and I just cried because I regretted me and my daughter being totally devastated and became so happy when after a BVC visit and a fantastic midwife's positive support to definitely take up breastfeeding again if I wanted to, it made my daughter so crazy overjoyed. It was an amazing experience. Still breastfeeding and wants to quit when she wants to quit herself, just wondering when it might be and has come to realize that, unlike Christmas, I wish she herself would quit soon .. When it happens, I only get answers to if I let her breastfeed until then .. 😉 Something I have never heard anywhere else is that there is some substance that causes the child over a year to refuse the milk, can not believe it for not noticed such a tendency and do not know where that person is got that info from but would be interesting to hear if anyone else knows anything about it. Also heard that when you get menses, the milk tastes worse or different and then the child usually does not want the breast anymore, not noticed any difference then also just that maybe there will be less milk when I have had menses, which I also read somewhere, it has made my daughter annoyed that there is so little milk .. 😉 My oldest daughter I breastfed until she was 14 months and still grieve that I allowed myself to be so affected by what people thought! I quit because of what others thought and not because I really wanted to. My oldest daughter who is now 4 years old absolutely did not want to quit when she was 14 months and wanted to start again when she was 2 and saw her newborn little sister breastfeeding, my then fantastic new BVC nurse then said I could take up breastfeeding again with my oldest though it was then 1 year ago i stopped breastfeeding her & driving a breastfeeding if i wanted to, i did not dare it too felt too hard and was a too strange thought for me then but it was so easy to hear it and that attitude to breastfeeding i love! Today I would have easily tested it if I felt that I could do it! Oh what I am positive about free breastfeeding! Is so different from person to person! Some breastfeeding shorter, some longer no one should have to get shady looks or comments or unwelcome unwelcome tips, however well they are, it is so individual and no one knows their child better than the child's parents.

    11. Now it's been a while since the comment was written but I want to say it is still read and appreciated alot! How well written!

  20. Hi breastfeeding moms and thanks for good posts. I think you should feel proud and confident in your decisions. I breastfed my son until he was 2 years and 10 months and people thought it was pretty hippie. I needed to take a long course of antibiotics and told him that the doctor put medicine in my mother's breast so it was not good to eat anymore. He accepted it perfectly ok and I only needed to "bribe" one or two times with a chocolate bit but it became a very natural and undramatic ending that felt fine.

  21. What a nice post, thank you for writing about this! And what a wonderful thing to say about breastfeeding help - I think its name needs to be spread as much as possible!

    I've just stopped breastfeeding my 14-month. On her initiative, not mine, so I feel a little snoopy and sad but at the same time relieved that it went so smoothly. We stopped at night a few months ago because it was a very long night and I would start working. She continued to sleep with us if she wanted to, but we offered water instead at night which she accepted. Then it all kicked itself out even during the day because she is at home with her dad and therefore forgot about breastfeeding a bit, I would think. Now she doesn't want to, even if I offer her. Since she was a very small baby, she has had a hard time breastfeeding among people and if something exciting is happening around us, then the last few months we have almost only breastfeed to soothe and sleep. Therefore, I think it was an easy step for her to let go of breastfeeding right now, when she's a wild and active one-year-old who's been full all day.

    I feel proud and happy that it has worked so well for so long, but I certainly would have liked to continue for a while, just as comfort. And yet I am relieved - yes, then we have stopped, and there were apparently no problems whatsoever ... And it will be nice to be just me again, and be able to have whatever clothes I want.

    Yours sincerely, a happy member of the Nursing Aid

  22. As soon as you deviate from the norm to breastfeed until the child is 6 months, you have to defend yourself. I breastfed for a week, then for various reasons could not continue. And I'm so HAPPY that it became so because it gave the dad and me the opportunity to be parents on equal terms. But oh I had to defend myself. And not just breastfeeding. That we did not agree, that we got used to her eating at night at 5 months, that she did not get baby fever, that we started potty training early. Everything that one does that is not like “everyone else” must be defended and motivated. Apparently, it is not enough for the child to be healthy, feel good and happy for the even…

    1. Hey! Recognize me in having to defend to start with the potty early (8 months with elders, 6 months with others), not received porridge or formula. Do not eat on / with plastic plates, plastic cutlery and do not drink from plastic cups ... However, breastfeeding according to the norm, so there I have failed to explain. Think we all as parents want to do everything right and are worried about making mistakes. Therefore, it becomes easy to question (and directly or indirectly criticize) when others do in a different way. Could also be that I interpreted comments as criticism or questioning even though it was not really meant, just because I myself was not 100% comfortable with my choices and wondered if it is the best for my children.

  23. My daughter's breastfeeding ending was traumatic. I was diagnosed with MS when she was six months and started taking medication for it which meant breastfeeding. I cried, she cried. It is still, over two years later, something that I still mourn. That it became as it became and that we were not allowed to wind down at the rate we wanted.

  24. Have never before understood mothers breastfeeding their children in old age, but have a different understanding now ... My oldest child lost interest about 8 months. No problem for me, who have never been a "fan" and thought it was extra cozy to breastfeed.
    My youngest child is 16 months and still breastfeeding in the evening when he is going to sleep. He does not seem particularly interested in quitting. I want to quit, but haven't had the energy to grab it, pushing on it all the time. Finally I started to think: for who am I actually quitting? Do I care so much about what others think about breastfeeding children older than one year?
    It has occurred to me that I have become a long-time feeder - I never thought that when I struggled with breastfeeding with my oldest. And as I fought!
    But for the holidays I think it may be location determined, so I (and my husband) can rest for the days if it should be crazy in the evenings. I still don't think it's very cozy, just practical.

  25. My first son, in the morning, nursed until he was 1.5 years old. I stopped when we started trying to get a sibling. The midwife I asked if folic acid was bad for the breastfeeding child said you need all the nutrition / energy yourself when you get / are pregnant. So that's why I quit. It was a good reason to stop! I really wanted the son to decide for himself when he wanted to quit. Previously, I had tried to quit twice but regretted it! It was such a big decision and with no return when the milk was over. And I didn't know if I should breastfeed any more children, we would have some siblings - would breastfeeding work? Breastfeeding at first worked directly and I never had a problem. Fully for 7 months and then step down. He wanted to breastfeed for sleep, not always fun at night…
    Now I breastfeed little brother who is 5 months and it has also worked great since he was born. Unlike big brother, he does not want to fall asleep at the breast. Except at night, when he just wakes up eating and falling asleep again. But do not want to lie next to me (I lie and breastfeed at night) but want to lie freely and I beside. Feels so weird that it's different than the first! But of course, of course! The important thing for me is that the baby can completely control how often it wants to breastfeed. Now with others it will be he who has to decide entirely when he wants to quit (there will be no more). I don't want to make that decision.

  26. Nice post. I still breastfeed my two-year-old now and then, mostly in secret because, like Johanna, I get so many unsolicited comments about it. Many believe that breastfeeding at this age is "mostly for the sake of the mother" and that the child is kept in some kind of baby stage by not quitting. I don't know how to deal with it, so I keep quiet. My son loves to breastfeed and so do I.

    We stopped at night at the age of fifteen months, because the son had poor appetite and did not gain weight as he would. It was, as you write, a struggle. Took about two weeks before the nights got quieter. The appetite temporarily improved, but soon returned to the same as before, so I doubt that it really had anything to do with the nighttime (also because I noticed that it wasn't very much milk but it was mostly about safety).

    Breastfeeding is great when it works, and I think it's a shame that there are so tight standards on how, where and why to breastfeed.

    1. Nor am I as fond of such standards as you probably understand. So that is why I am so happy that you are so many who share with you how you have done, and no one has done exactly the same.

    2. My son is nine months. Read here and decided to try the night fight. Slept with a sports bra and walked around and listened at night. Today one chest pain and now 39 degree fever. At 1177 they say to avoid tight clothing when breastfeeding, so maybe revise the above text?

  27. Your two most recent posts came very timely to me as I sometimes feel that many people find it a little strange that I am still breastfeeding at night and that she does not fall asleep herself but we lie next to her until she falls asleep.
    Thanks, I needed to hear that we are normal 🙂

  28. Very good article!
    One thing that might be worth clarifying, it is about the feeding kit that the hose should be in a bottle of milk ... Maybe it should say: "a bottle of breast milk or replacement" so no one feeds his baby with cow's milk, although I do not think anyone does the.

  29. I am still breastfeeding my daughter, she turns 2 at the beginning of July. I was restless on breastfeeding when she was 4-5 months but I decided that I should not quit before she was six months so I struggled until then and then suddenly I thought it was great to breastfeed and I decided then that if I was to continue then "I must" continue until she was one year, that it was like the deal, stop now or continue until then. At 10 months I was restless again and then I chose to partially limit breastfeeding which was easy as my daughter was also happy. At one year it was fantastic again and I didn't quit then either but I decided instead of just going on the feeling and doing what I want. I don't know yet if I will let my daughter breastfeed until she wants to stop herself or if I will push for a breastfeeding end, but I know that I liked best about breastfeeding an older child than a full breast, I like it to feel less demanding and not like I have to deliver a certain amount at some point that I could feel when I was fully healed. Little does it depend on whether I would get pregnant again and when it does. I had a hard pregnancy last time, especially psychologically and it would be the same again so I think I would not paddle breastfeeding and then it will definitely end. Otherwise, I'm probably leaning towards letting her control the finish myself.

  30. Breastfeeding worked well from the very first time the son was placed at my breast. Unfortunately, I got sick and was hospitalized for three weeks when he was about 1 month, co-workers came and greeted every day and had the son with him and then I nursed once a day, the remaining time he got formula. When I got home again, milk production started quite well again, but the son wanted more and more rarely to breastfeed, it was faster to get the food with a bottle! I managed to "fool" him early in the morning, when he woke up but wasn't really awake I moved over to him and then he breastfed and fell asleep next to my chest and slept there for a couple of hours, the most enjoyable moment of the whole day! In the end he also ended up with the morning feed, then he was about 6 months. What was “good” about me being admitted is that the son and his dad have had a super nice relationship, since they only spent the two most of the time I was in hospital. This has made it work just as well with mom or dad in all situations, comfort, night, etc. Had I been able to choose for myself I would have been at least half a year, now it was about 3 weeks - 1 month. The son is now 1 year and as good and happy and safe as possible, so apparently it went well anyway 🙂

  31. My minor, which I thought to breastfeed until she was two years or so, ended it herself at 16 months. At that time, breastfeeding was a small part of her diet and, so to speak, descending was already done. But I have Fortf milk, four months later…

  32. My child stopped breastfeeding quite abruptly when he was nine months old. I became a little sad at first, but then felt that it was nice that he had to decide.

  33. Will soon stop breastfeeding my 8-month baby, but what do you give as an evening meal instead of breastfeeding if you do not want to give birth?

    The baby is healthy and possible. Do not want to give a bottle of bottle because big sister of 4 years then also want to have, and it does not want mom and dad.


    1. My baby never had to get any meal "for the night". We had dinner at 18 and we slept around 7:30 pm, she usually slept all night, woke up she wasn't hungry. Experienced that she slept better if not eaten just before bed. So she worked. We ended up with night feeding until 7-8 months. Good to add that she has always eaten very well of everything offered. Not everyone is spoiled.

    2. @ Anna: Formula and breast milk are not exactly no. There are two different ways of feeding infants with different pros and cons. Which one chooses (or is referred to) depends on the individual situation.

    3. So it was in response to Mary who asked what you can give instead of meadow as evening meal!

  34. I'm glad you're writing about this!

    My daughter is 14 months old, and breastfeeding is probably among the best she knows! She eats food too, but is not particularly fond of anything special and it can be difficult to get good portions in her. I have returned to my studies, so her dad is home with her daytime. I usually breastfeed before I leave in the morning, and then she gets some snack / security when I get home. Plus I breastfeed her when I put her down and a couple of times during the night. We cooperate.

    And I get so many weird comments on this! That it would be a pity for me to get up so many times a night. It is sad that my daughter is so close to me. That we should "grab it" and teach her to sleep like real children. That if I continue she will always (!) Want to breastfeed at night.

    And I'm getting so tired! Because I don't think it is a pain at all. Well, some nights I think it's just over when she wakes up. But it is most in development leaps and when teeth come. Otherwise, I will not suffer from it. I have no need to leave her at night, or in the evening - or any other time for that. She is one year. It has a chance. But I hate having to explain myself, explain my daughter's behavior and defend that I'm still breastfeeding her.

    I would probably like to print this blog post in the face of all the people I meet. So that they stop questioning something that I (and my partner) think is so normal and healthy!


    1. You don't need to explain or defend yourself. Those who demand it from you have misunderstood their role in your life. Nice that you liked this post!

    2. Hey! Thanks for a super bold post. And this answer / comment is just so smart! "Misunderstood its role in your life ..." Love it!

    3. Have it just like you (my daughter is 15 months now) and think like you that it is perfectly ok to nightfeed on hand that there should not be anything strange about it !! go us !!

    4. An old post, but iaf. Just so I feel! Hope it went well for your family. I do not care very much, but sometimes it may surprise me when, for example, doctors and others in the health care think we should stop breastfeeding. In fact, since my son was just over a year old ... Guess it's considered some sort of end date. Have a nice day!

    5. I have a boy of 1 1/2 who is still breastfeeding. A nice guy who likes to take a sip or two at night. During the day he can have a sip after lunch and especially if he has not eaten so well.

      I get comments about when to quit, but feel that I'm not done myself. We take it as it comes and do not care about the comments. ❤️

  35. I stopped breastfeeding my daughter a month ago. Then she was one and a half. It annoyed me something incredible that everyone commented that I was breastfeeding for too long. But a month ago I had enough. I did not step down, but stopped completely. The strange thing was that I only had to pump out once. It was as if the body was finished at the same time as I was. But then I had also breastfed continuously for three years because I have been close between the children.

  36. I breastfed my daughter for about 1 year and 9 months. She hardly lay still as she nursed the last few weeks and in the end I did not cope with it and quit the opposite. A little boring but it felt unsustainable, she was not very happy at first but it went well anyway.

  37. Hey!
    My guy stopped breastfeeding during the day when he was 7 months old. Was very happy at the time and thought that the mother's breasts mostly took time to suck on. 🙂 At night, he quit when he was 8 months because I did not cope when he wanted to cut the average once every hour. Then there was moulting instead which he drank almost every night until he was 1½ years.
    My little girl ended the daytime at 9 months and now moans at night and a few times each night. She is now almost 15 months. We co-operate so I do not bother much at night, but soon it is time to get used to it as it is soon time for me to return to work.
    It feels a little shame that there are so many people who frown at one when they say that they are still breastfeeding when the baby is over 6 months. Most people seem to think that there is some magical age when all children cross breastfeeding freely ...

  38. Hey !
    I have breastfed both my girls. The oldest one I breastfed until she was 1 year and 9 months, I decided to quit for a whole day and it was hard for my girl to accept it but after two days of struggle she gave up and accepted and got a fever instead until now she is 4 years old and we continue with formula in the morning and evening.

    My youngest girl I breastfed from birth and when she was one month old, the oldest daughter became very ill when she got a severe infection of chickenpox and was hospitalized for 3 weeks.
    So then the little girl got bottle and breastfeeding all the time until she was 8 months then she refused to take her breast anymore, she became very angry with me when I gave her breast so we still continue with bottle several times a day, she is now 14 months.
    Happy mom

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