I do not like the term brat. Probably because I myself am very happy and proud of my defiance and become happy when I see the trait of children. But then you understand what I mean - I'm talking about kids of two or three or four years of age who get psyched out and anger outbreaks for usually minimal reasons.
Start with yourself - make sure you do not end up in the throes!
When your child has reached this stage of development, you as a parent are temporarily placed on higher demands. You should not get as many and as long anger breaks as the child. And especially not on the child. In addition, it is an advantage if you manage to fool the child with food, get away to preschool and get the child to bed for some time.
So start with yourself: make sure you can cope. That's the usual thing: eat well, spend time in the evenings, work out and make sure you meet friends sometimes. If you are tired of picking up your two-year-old in kindergarten, take a break. Take a coffee and a banana, or bun, or smoothie and unwind for 20 minutes before going to preschool. If you can't: take a snack on the commuter train.
Never forget the snack in the middle age
It does not always help from afar, but if you have a child who is close to anger, so for god's sake, make sure the child gets food every three hours. Hunger is your worst enemy when your child is old age. Bring a fruit or raisin package to eat in the carriage home from kindergarten.
Sleep for a three-year-old child
Much easier said than done, but try to maximize the child's opportunities for a good night's sleep by making sure the bed is comfortable, the room is dark and reasonably cool.
And the same laying time and laying routine every night. Conflicts around laying are usually worth addressing. In my family, it is an important principle that the parent decides when it is bedtime. If the children protest I stay with them and remind them of this. When they get up, I put them back in bed.
Choose your battles!
As I said, I choose the laying match. On the other hand, the controversy is not about which bed they should sleep in, what toys they should have, what is on the table to eat, or what to wear. Rain jacket, sun hat, backpack and rubber boots my two year old wanted to wear when we were out in the sun eating ice cream. Why not? He was satisfied, I was satisfied. I had a short sleeve myself. Cute, matched pajamas may not have to be the most important thing at the particular age.
Ipad, mobile and other screens then, can it help or is it a struggle to choose?
Confirm the child's feeling!
It's my favorite number two. "Oh, what you are angry and sorry" is something my kids usually like to hear when they're angry. Sometimes they say "Yes! Stupid mom, stupid dad, stupid big brother! ”. Then I usually answer “It feels that way, it must feel very lonely for you if mom is stupid, dad is stupid and big brother is stupid. What about the favorite teddy bear, is he stupid too? " Try it, it often has a redeeming effect on my three year old.
To say "But you got the wrong color on the socks, it's not that important, the pink socks are as fine as the red ones, I think" has never helped. So I've stopped doing that.
Remind the framework of the situation
It may seem close to arguing, but is not the same. You as an adult determine the framework for the child's everyday life. When it's time to go to bed. When it's time to eat. What should be on the table. When it's time to go to the pot / change diapers. When movie is turned on and off. That you must not fight.
If needed: remind about current frames. “You may be angry, you may say I'm stupid, but you shouldn't be bitten! Stop!" or "I hear you want to build Lego, but now it's dinner time, so I'll take you to the table."
Prepare for the next activity!
If the child's outburst often comes when the child is to change activity, such as stopping to watch movies and start eating food, or stop being out and about, etc., prepare the child for doing one or the other soon. Not so infrequently the child can then say "Yes, just build the finished cake first" or "Yes, when I finished looking at this Builder Boben" or so, and my experience is that if you wait those minutes then everything goes smoother then.
When you can't work ...
When you can't cope with the baby anymore, take a break. Let the child be with someone else, and please read this post on the topic:
Also read the nice guest blog post by a mother with borderline personality disorder and a broken childhood who had to fight extra hard to learn to be a good mother.